…continued from the Home Page
How do I stay sober?
There is a lot of information out there in the Sober-sphere on how to stop drinking. But there isn’t much on how to keep going. It can be a vicious cycle and one swift kick or trigger can find you back on your knees. I didn’t want to ever have to go back.
I needed something more than the tools that I had used to quit drinking. A plan to make my life so enjoyable that alcohol would be a threat to it. I would defend my new lifestyle against any and all such enemies.
Instead of focusing on what I couldn’t do and have (stupid alcohol), I set a laser focus on the life I wanted to live, and the person I wanted to become.
Listen up: If you are not working on creating your own happiness and fulfilling your purpose, there is only a very sheer sheet separating you from the quick fix of the bottle. You will still believe that you are missing out as you look wistfully at your girlfriends drinking at birthday dinners and lament, “Why can’t I have just one?”
You know why. You’ve done the work. You can’t really just have one.
And when you make the shift over to loving the life you built so much that alcohol is a pest, an insignificant nuisance that doesn’t belong, you’re finally free.
When you are happy and healthy without alcohol, there is no reason to drink.
~Midlife and above

A new plan
So I’ve created new plan to stay alcohol free. Grow stronger, smarter, savvier in the areas of your life that you can control. For the first time in my life, I was actually caring for myself with a little tough love and a lot of grace instead of poison.
The key is to removing the toxins and building up these 5 integral areas of your life that will give you control over your mind, body and spirit.
- Physical: Making your body healthier and stronger
- Mental: Gaining knowledge is your superpower
- Emotional: Learning mantras and habits to stay in control
- Spiritual: Finding your purpose and connecting with your God, et al
- Social & Recreational: Pursuing an extraordinary life without room for alcohol
Removing toxins from your life has a domino effect. You have done the most important one by getting rid of alcohol. When you take small steps to clean up your food, your body and care products, your rewards, and your self-talk, your life will change exponentially.
Do one thing at a time, giving yourself the care and patience that you would give to a puppy or a child. You are re-building, and you are taking the steps to create the life that you have desperately wanted to live. This is what REAL Self Care is.
I gave it an acronym-(R.E.A.L.) Self Care: Renew-Empower-Align-Learn
Staying alcohol free means committing to yourself first and foremost. You should be your #1 Fan. This means doing the work of R.E.A.L. Self-care. This is not simply dry-brushing and monthly nail treatments, this is:
- Removing Environmental and Lifestyle Toxins
- Giving your body the stuff it needs to feel amazing and heal the damage that drinking causes.
- Making movement a non-negotiable. Any kind you like doing.
- Being knowledgeable about the destruction of alcohol.
- Changing your habits and reward system.
- Building your self-esteem.
- Finding and fulfilling your purpose.
This is REAL SELF CARE. This is the good, hard, gritty stuff that makes you better. This is the key that will empower you to live a purposeful sober life and stay alcohol free.
Get my R.E.A.L. Self Care Checklist here (coming soon)